Ten Tips for Difficult Employee Conversations
/At some point in our careers, most of us will have been on one side or the other of a difficult work conversation.
Confrontation is never easy, no matter how gentle, how constructive, or how well-intentioned it may be. No one likes to be criticised or to be told they’re performing or behaving in a way that is anything less that constructive or positive.
For most of us, those conversations might just be the slightly awkward variety that are part and parcel of being young and making mistakes as we take our first steps up the career ladder.
For others, they can be more serious – a precursor to a performance management process, the first step in a disciplinary hearing, or communicating an unexpected compulsory redundancy.
Inevitably, those of us working within HR have more of these conversations than most, and they’re rarely, if ever, easy.
But we can make it less daunting by approaching these conversations in the right way.
Here are our Top 10 things to bear in mind when you’re faced with the prospect of uttering the words: “I need to speak to you …”
1. Prepare and Plan
Before initiating the conversation, take some time to organize your thoughts and establish a clear objective. Identify the specific issues you want to address, gather relevant information, and consider the potential emotions involved. Prepare for potential reactions and plan your responses accordingly.
2. Right Time, Right Setting
Select an appropriate time and private setting to conduct the conversation. Avoid discussing sensitive matters in a public or crowded space, as this can make the employee uncomfortable or defensive. Ensure there will be no interruptions during the discussion.
3. Start on a Positive Note
Begin the conversation by expressing appreciation for the employee's contributions and highlighting their strengths. This approach sets a positive tone and helps the employee feel valued before discussing the challenging aspects.
4. I, not You
When discussing concerns, share your perspective using ‘I’ statements rather than accusatory "you" statements – e.g., I get the impression that you’ve been distracted lately rather than the more accusatorial You don’t appear to be focused on your priorities at the moment. This helps to avoid sounding judgmental and encourages a more open and less defensive response from the employee.
5. Stay Focused and Specific
Address the specific issues that need improvement and provide concrete examples to support your feedback. Vague or generalised criticism can be confusing and unhelpful for the employee. For example, ‘I need you to be more productive’ isn’t helpful for anyone. Instead, be precise: ‘I want you to close at least one sale a day’.
6. Listen Actively
Actively listen to the employee's response and encourage them to share their perspective and feelings. Be patient and give them ample time to express themselves without interrupting to ensure they feel they have been heard and their point of view has been properly considered.
7. Validate Emotions
Difficult conversations can trigger emotional responses. Acknowledge the employee's feelings and show empathy. Let them know that you understand their emotions and are willing to work together to find a resolution.
8. Collaborate on Solutions
Invite the employee to participate in finding solutions to the identified issues. Encourage them to share their ideas on how to improve the situation and provide your input as needed. This collaborative approach can foster a sense of ownership and commitment to change.
9. Set Clear Expectations
Outline the expectations moving forward and establish a plan of action to address the concerns. Ensure that both you and the employee are clear about the steps to be taken and the timeline for improvement.
10. Follow Up
Schedule a follow-up meeting to check on the employee's progress and offer additional support if needed. This follow-up demonstrates your commitment to their development and emphasizes the importance of the conversation.
Remember, the goal of a difficult conversation with an employee is not to berate or reprimand but to foster growth and improvement.
By approaching the conversation with empathy and professionalism, you can create a positive environment for honest communication and personal development.
So, if you want to understand how to ensure your difficult conversations can deliver the outcomes you want, why not get in touch to see how we can help?
